During my first visit to Japan in 2005, I visited a zendo in Hiroshima to try zazen for my first time. I enjoyed it, even though it was quite difficult. At the time, I only got the chance to go to that zendo once. Last weekend I got to go to Chokai-san International zendo (鳥海山国際禅堂), in Yashima, for my second encounter with zazen. The zendo is only about 40 minutes drive from my apt, so I really don't know why I hadn't gone sooner!
We arrived just in time to share dinner with the zazen master, Sato-san and his wife Mariko. Both these people are among the nicest you could meet. Sato-san is a peaceful, jolly man, and Mariko the caring mother type. Both also had a satisfying level of English for easy communication.
After dinner we had a rest period before the meditation was to begin. I took the time to read an English version of the instructions to refresh what I had learned in Hiroshima. Emphasis is put on how you walk in the Zendo, when and where to bow, and how you sit during the meditation, the latter being the most difficult by far. You are provided with a round cushion to sit on. The correct way to sit is to have 3 main points of contact with the ground; your butt, and both knees. Obviously having your ass touch the ground is not a problem, but having
both knees is! If you can sit in the full
lotus position, this will not be an issue. I, unfortunately, struggle with even the half lotus position.
So while trying to tie my legs into knots – while remaining silent! – I remembered that while in Hiroshima I had the same problem, and was given
two cushions before I could get both knees to touch the ground. But... the teacher had left at this stage, so I was going to have to soldier on with just the one. I managed as best I could with two points of contact, with the other right knee refusing to touch the ground, with what resembled magnetic repulsion!
While meditating, you face a wall and are instructed to keep your eyes slightly open while looking down at a 45º angle, while not focusing on any particular point. And just concentrate on savoring every breath. The objective is to quieten the mind. But this is a very difficult thing to do. In fact, in this quite environment, the mind seems to work overtime. Thinking of everything and anything; a thought from earlier in the day, a feeling from last week, or a forgotten memory from 15 years ago!
And while the memories are flooding your mind, your legs encourage you not to forget about them. They do this in a number of ways, first are uncomfortable, then they tingle, then they throb. And your back is sore because the muscles are not used to supporting your back so straight. So it slowly curls down and down until you finally realise, and try to correct it, but each time you do correct it, you can't straighten it as much as the last time, and eventually you just give up altogether. Meanwhile you eyes have become heavy because of the relaxation, and the fact you are in a dimly lit room is not helping matters. And all this time your mind is constantly trying to guess how long you have been in this awkward position, and more importantly, how much longer you must endure it. You knew when you started that it was going to be a 30 min session, so you have been trying to keep track of the time, not an easy thing to do. Your logical mind says maybe 20 minutes, while your evil mind flashes up a clock showing only 7 minutes have past.
Finally the bell rings. And it's the sweetest sounding bell you have ever heard! You release your legs and then can fully appreciate how much pain you were actually in. And after you lift your dead legs with your hands and direct them towards the sandals you wore when walked in, the pins-and-needles party starts! You struggle to your feet, still remaining silent of course, and follow the master in a slow and mediating walk around the zendo and out. At which point your legs are back to normal, and for some reason you feel peaceful and very proud of what you just accomplished.
That night I slept on the same place as we had mediated, and dreamt dreams that were nowhere as peaceful as I had felt before going to bed. We awoke the next morning to the sound of the bell, that no longer sounded sweet, at 5:30 in the morning. We had another meditation session at 6am. I managed to get 3 points of contact for most of the session. After having breakfast with Sato-san, he left us saying he had some work to do. He told us to stay as long as we liked, just requesting we close the doors as we left. We decided to go for one more session before departing.
I do like zazen. I think once I become more competent at sitting in the correct position it will become much more enjoyable. I have practiced a few times at home since then, and am finding the sitting easier, though I'm not quite able for the full lotus position just yet. I hope to return to the zendo again soon.
